Stages of Grief

Kubler-Ross (1969) identified five stages of grief:

First is denial, which their emotions are suppressed, refusal to cry, or pretend the event didn’t exist
or happen.

The second stage is anger, which comprises of the individual lashing out, or being verbally or physically aggressive toward others.

The next step is bargaining, which in this case the person forever wonders if their family member will ever show back up in their life. They ask questions such as “I wish my family member would come around the corner and show up. I want them to show up today.”

The next stage is depression:
The final stage is acceptance. After time, individuals end up accepting the situation, pick up the pieces, and continue forging forward in life.



Good Psych moment:
Part of this reference is a little dated but profound:
Stop drinking the putrid Kool-aid about our communities not changing, or the people in those communities not wanting to change.
Ross (1967) states that people want to and CAN change. It’s up to you to influence who and what is around you.
People SHOULD participate in making, adjusting, or controlling the major changes taking place IN THEIR communities. BUT THEY DONT…
Man should grow and fulfill himself as he participates in the regulation of his OWN life.
2. Unless man participates in the regulation of his own life, he becomes entirely subjected to the whim and forces which leave him socially and politically isolated and his life is meaningless.
3. Without such participation, democracy has no life or vitality..

Communities of people can develop the capacity to deal with their own problems.
The implication is that communities of people, even if they feel hopeless, can develop attitudes AND skills which permit them to work effectively at the task of shaping their communities more adequately to meet their needs. Even in depressed neighborhoods, people have demonstrated the capacity to work and function as a unit.

Ross (1967). Community organization: Theory, Principles and Practice. 2nd Ed. New York: Harper & Row.

#getmoving #changeisforthebetter #accept

Signed, a qualified mental health professional! (QMHP)

My book..

Sharing this with my FB family..not sharing my whole

I’ve been in much meditation and prayer concerning direction. God has revealed much to me as far as insight and direction. He has put great people in my path. I’m stepping out and I’m publishing my material.
Name of my book will be: Learn, Heal, Love..
This will be my first book cover..
We learn from the past, we heal in the present, we love going forward!! I’m confident it will be a best seller…



I had an eye opening experience today. People are afraid to share their power. They won’t empower others. The air is too rarefied. To empower means to share, equip, enable, or supply to someone else what made you successful. If you don’t share your power, or what made you a success, you cannot empower!!! We must teach, share, enable, equip, supply our knowledge to empower. We need to do better. What are you afraid of? Losing your power, or someone doing better than you? If you have a friend who only depends on you to feed them, they will never be able to feed themselves unless they are taught to do for themselves. They will always need fed.
Teach a man to fish, he will always have something to eat, and share with others, then, teach him to own the pond from whence he fished from…empowering individuals only duplicates success…
#letsGo #empower
CMM ©2014


When placed in the same system, people, however different, tend to produce similar results.
The systems perspective tells us that we must look beyond individual mistakes or bad luck to understand important problems. We must look beyond personalities and events. We must look into the underlying structures which shape individual actions and create the conditions where types of events become likely.
A truly profound and different insight is the way you begin to see that the system causes its own behavior.

Stress Model of Crisis

Baseline behavior(Normal behavior) is considered PreCrisis..PreCrisis is normal behavior that is under control.

A person/client is triggered by an event, such as being told no, redirection, preferred activity to non-preferred activity, transitions, etc.

Now, triggers can be good or bad. In this model, we can assume triggers are bad.
Triggers are where the escalation begins. Think of an escalator going up. We don’t have to get on it to go upstairs, but we choose to. The main feeling experienced here is agitation.
It’s a choice to become escalated, as I explain to my clients, this is the part of the model where the deescalation techniques should be implemented. You will see why in a minute.
So let’s say our client is escalated, and won’t utilize any interventions. If interventions aren’t successful, and client isn’t following directions, client is headed toward outburst. We attempt to continue to de-escalate, curbing aggression. Aggression increases during this phase of the model.

Envision a volcano erupting, or the Incredible Hulk morphing into an angry beast. This is the apex of the crisis, where violence and destruction occurs. Windows get broken, staff get punched and kicked, and the volcano blows up. The client has become out of control. Something has to happen. This is the point of no return. Again, a choice has been selected here. There is still some control of behavior here, even in this stage.
Once the outburst has occurred, the client is moving toward Recovery, where you can reason with them and utilize interventions. What goes up, must come down.
That’s why it’s important to intercede and implement reasoning during the escalation phase rather than the recovery phase. When client deescalates, they are headed toward baseline (normal) behavior.
This cycle can repeat itself several times in a session, with a client or person fully recovered and can be triggered again in a matter of minutes if conditions are ripe.
CMM © 2014