God can heal the heart of an abused person. You have to give Him all of the broken pieces. He washes the wounds, mends the mindsets, wipes away your tears. He has undergirded you to rise above being abused and become everything He created you to be from the foundation of the world.
Profile of an abused person:
Abusers leave their victims with feelings of personal defectiveness and rejection. The fear of their situation or their “stains” being uncovered causes the abused to develop destructive ways of relating to other people. These self-protective ways are like reapplying the scab that healed the cut. These are pitfalls to wholesome, healthy relationships and limit the ability to know God on an intimate level, because of the walls being built around them.
Hunt (2008) uses the acronym ABUSED used to describe a person with these characteristics:
Conflicted emotions about pain/pleasure of sexual feelings and give mixed signals to others on an emotional level. Unable to have normal relations and the partner ends up paying the price for the abuse that occurred prior to the relationship.
Unable to trust or have faith in God and other people. Very leery of others. Untrusting and fearful.
Lacks passion for both good and evil, and is seeking to be free of conflict with others. Often you see isolation and withdrawal tendencies here. “The ostrich head in the sand.”
Consumed with trying to keep themselves protected. Unable to be sensitive to others. “Control freak”. If I can control what you do in my environment, I can limit your ability to inflict pain in my situation.
Disengaged from true feelings and becomes blind to the feelings of others. “I don’t care how you feel, my feelings are primary.”
D-Dependent on Self
Seeks to always be in control due to an inability to depend on God or others. Again, the individual wants to control their total environment due to individuals that were trusted to keep them safe, and betrayed their trust. Now the individual feels like they have to depend on themselves for safety, so they build walls around them brick by brick.