50 Billion….

Prison is a 50 billion dollar business..they have to keep the beds filled.
Where are they built? Rural areas. Away from loved ones.
Who is in control there? No one that can relate to the prisoner.
How many men of color are represented behind bars? Over 50 percent…the next 9 years are crucial for the 3rd grade boys of color because 50 percent will drop out, meaning high school and college will be less of a reality. The chances of them earning slow money diminishes when the chance to earn fast money increases.
We need to give our children a heads up. We are going on 3 generations of our men of color being locked down…if I had 10 sons, 7 are at risk for doing time…it’s time to save our boys..too many men behind bars that look like me.
It’s not my son today, but one day it could be and I hope we care enough to make sure all of our sons are making good choices and avoiding getting a record.
This is why behavior in school is crucial. Many are failing tests because they cannot comprehend what’s on the test, so the negative behavior becomes a coping mechanism of sorts, to mask the behavior.. I can remember the individuals that were in my third grade class who were failing and acting up are dead or in jail AND were fatherless…we gotta get the dads back on their jobs…..
CMM

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Role Strain

“Mothers have experienced role strain, going from a supportive role in the home to the head of the household. Mothers are conditioned to be nurturers and teachers FIRST, instead of providers (hunters and gatherers). Men are born to hunt and gather. Women teach and nurture. When you are forced out of your natural role, the priorities of the family change from thriving to surviving.”
McNeil (2014)

Values of a liberal society

Ross (1967)
People CAN and WANT to change, despite their challenges in front of them.
Values of a liberal society state that:
Individuals need a social climate which encourages growth, development, and challenges them to reach higher.

Laue and Cormick (1978)
Professional role is that of an advocate and advocates are people who speak for those who cant speak for themselves.

Freedom-Justice-Empowerment-the goal one day is to have the individual advocate for their OWN needs and rights
CMM
#Project180

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Abuse part 2

Abused
God can heal the heart of an abused person. You have to give Him all of the broken pieces. He washes the wounds, mends the mindsets, wipes away your tears. He has undergirded you to rise above being abused and become everything He created you to be from the foundation of the world.

Profile of an abused person:
Abusers leave their victims with feelings of personal defectiveness and rejection. The fear of their situation or their “stains” being uncovered causes the abused to develop destructive ways of relating to other people. These self-protective ways are like reapplying the scab that healed the cut. These are pitfalls to wholesome, healthy relationships and limit the ability to know God on an intimate level, because of the walls being built around them.

Hunt (2008) uses the acronym ABUSED used to describe a person with these characteristics:

A-Ambivalent
Conflicted emotions about pain/pleasure of sexual feelings and give mixed signals to others on an emotional level. Unable to have normal relations and the partner ends up paying the price for the abuse that occurred prior to the relationship.
B-Betrayed
Unable to trust or have faith in God and other people. Very leery of others. Untrusting and fearful.
U-Unexcitable
Lacks passion for both good and evil, and is seeking to be free of conflict with others. Often you see isolation and withdrawal tendencies here. “The ostrich head in the sand.”
S-Self-absorbed
Consumed with trying to keep themselves protected. Unable to be sensitive to others. “Control freak”. If I can control what you do in my environment, I can limit your ability to inflict pain in my situation.
E-Emotionally Controlled
Disengaged from true feelings and becomes blind to the feelings of others. “I don’t care how you feel, my feelings are primary.”
D-Dependent on Self
Seeks to always be in control due to an inability to depend on God or others. Again, the individual wants to control their total environment due to individuals that were trusted to keep them safe, and betrayed their trust. Now the individual feels like they have to depend on themselves for safety, so they build walls around them brick by brick.
CMM

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Abuse

Feelings of abuse

Ashamed
Beaten down
Cut down
Criticized
Dehumanized
Disrespected
Embarrassed
Humiliated
Inferior
Insulted
Invalidated
Labeled
Lectured to
Mocked
Offended
Put down
Resentful
Ridiculed
Stereotyped
Teased
Underestimated
Worthless

Abuse of Freedom/Control

Bossed around
Controlled
Imposed upon
Imprisoned
Inhibited
Invaded
Forced
Manipulated
Obligated
Over-controlled
Over-ruled
Powerless
Pressured
Restricted
Suffocated
Trapped

Abuse of Love/Connection/
Importance

Abandoned
Alone
Brushed off
Confused
Disapproved of
Discouraged
Ignored
Insignificant
Invisible
Left out
Lonely
Misunderstood
Neglected
Rejected
Uncared about
Unheard
Unknown
Unimportant
Uninformed
Unloved
Unsupported
Unwanted

Abuse of Justice/Truth

Accused
Blamed
Cheated
Disbelieved
Falsely accused
Guilt-tripped
Interrogated
Judged
Lied about
Lied to
Misled
Punished
Robbed

Abuse of Safety

Abused
Afraid
Attacked
Defensive
Frightened
Insecure
Intimidated
Over-protected
Scared
Terrified
Threatened
Under-protected
Unsafe
Violated

Abuse of Trust
Cynical
Guarded
Skeptical
Suspicious
Untrusted
Untrusting

CMM

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I have a case of MHS!

I have MHS!!

I’m sorry to announce that I have MHS. It’s been diagnosed since May 2013. Someone asked me during graduation last year. “Were you under a doctors care? I replied, “Two times a week for the last 2 years. Actually, I saw specialists 3 times every Saturday in Philadelphia, and a field specialist every Tuesday in Harrisburg from August 2011 to April 2013.”
My friend asked what was wrong. I replied, “I was given a diagnosis of “closed mindedness with early-onset entropy.”

My diagnosis was described as possessing a mind firmly unreceptive to new ideas or arguments, and if symptoms didn’t improve, I was headed toward entropy, which leads to death of my system. Now the diagnosis made sense.

I kept hitting the ceiling, I kept hitting my head, I kept spinning my wheels. I continued being stuck at the same dead end jobs. The only way to get rid of closed mindedness with early onset entropy was to make weekly visits to the specialist in Philadelphia. These weekly visits lasted 8 hours or longer, and each session lasted 2.5 hours with homework and reading. The prescriptions consisted of healthy doses of Ethics, Skills, Systems, Psychology. The doses changed every 15 weeks with new doctors and specialists.
I heard terms such as “extrapolate, delineate, summation, ethical truths such as beneficence, nonmaleficence, autonomy.. capstone, target population, SPSS, the list goes on. These are words that I never heard before, but my closed mind began to open up.

Also, part of my deliverance was learning how to write scholarly and in a format I never saw before(APA), and developing marketable skills.

“At the end of the 2 years of seeing these specialists, you will have cured your problem and have what’s called MHS.
There is a cost for this, a sacrifice, but if you follow the prescription, you will have MHS. You have to walk across the stage to get it though. Let’s set an appointment for May 10th 2013. You will receive your MHS then. I must warn you, this appointment won’t be alone, as there will be many doing the same thing you are doing. ”

We were told to “trust the process”, persevere, make it happen. My mind has opened up!
I’m proud to say I have MHS!!
CMM

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Cycles of Dysfunction- Trauma

Trauma:
I want to talk about a subject that is continuing to keep the cycles of dysfunction going around. It’s a 6 letter word called:
TRAUMA…
Trauma is defined as a deeply distressing or disturbing experience.
In medicine, it’s physical injury.

Trauma is a situation or a memory that you want to forget, but CAN’T!!
The sad part about trauma is that it occurs, individuals are wounded, damaged, and injured physically, mentally, and emotionally. Some never get help for their trauma, as they never heal.

The sad part about trauma is that people know it happened to them or others, but won’t pick their head out of the sand. We allow it to happen, but don’t do anything to heal for it.

Think about a good memory, a memory that is pleasant, good, and an awesome experience. You remember every detail about the experience, and you want to tell everyone about what happened!
Well, trauma works the opposite, the setting is negative, the abused doesn’t want to tell because they are wounded and embarrassed. Many say, If I try to forget about what happened, it will go away.”
Many turn to risky lifestyles, drugs and alcohol to numb their pain.

This behavior has been occurring in our communities for too long. Abuse is something that keeps on giving.
They may want to tell someone, however, they are afraid to, and usually the abuser is someone the abused knows. You remember the season, time of year, the time of day the traumatic event occurred.
Date and time of a traumatic experience can affect the baseline (normal) behavior of the individual. Individuals who have experienced trauma tend to have flashbacks, reminders of the negative experiences often show up at the time the trauma occurred.
We see this often in individuals who have a diagnosis of depression, mood disorders, etc.
When you are trying to get to the root of a behavior, usually without someone telling you verbally, their non-verbal behavior will help tell the story.
When uncovering and using reframing and clarification, one can point out the behavior as the “smokescreen” that masks their true feelings.
When identifying patterns of behavior, don’t overlook that the behavior could be the result of a traumatic experience.
Abuse is a gift that keeps on giving. Let’s return the gift and exchange abuse for healing. Healing cannot occur unless there is exposure of the root.
CMM

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